May 5, 2009

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We buried my husband’s sister, Patrice today. I am exausted and tired and can’t seem to fall to sleep. It has been a week of heartache, of sadness, of unanswered questions, of spontaneous tears and restless sleeping. It has pained me to watch members of my family hurt so deeply.

I’ve been somewhat unaccustomed with the end of life’s journey. Rather, I’ve grown accustomed to often witnessing the start of a new journey and the happiness and joy that are associated with it. I’m privledged to be a part of something beautiful, the coming together of two separate worlds into the joining of one new family. Different as they may be, the beginning and the end of the journey, I realize that they share one thing in common…they both are moments encompassed by love. Love is what carries us in and carries us on. It is the one thing that endures after life. love always endures. Watching someone leave this life truly reminds you that life is fleeting. It is short. It sounds cliche. Time passes too quickly though.
Today brought tears with it but somehow it brought peace too. Today reminded us of what we’ve always known, that our family is forever.  Today made me want to hug my babies a little tighter and tell my family just a few more dozen times today that I love them. Their stregnth amazes me, but it does not surprise me.
In the graveyard my children and I gathered dandelions. I taught them about how the wind could carry their wishes. Finn picked up one and wished for a fish, another he wished for his Daddy to be happy, and the last one he wished for Aunt Patrice. I watched as the soft dandelion floated quietly on the breeze. I too wish you well Patrice. Your life has touched our hearts and we will always love you.

wishes on the wind

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